Authority: coming down from the ivory tower

In early March I read Reach Everyone, Teach Everyone and it opened my eyes to the fact that as an instructor I can (and should) do more.  I inherited the idea that there should be this division between students and professors.  Us and them.  They should look up to us in our ivory tower and respect us as the givers of knowledge.  I've only taught in higher ed for a few years but I'm seeing that this attitude is outdated and creates missed opportunities for learning and connections between instructors and students. 

Where did this idea come from?  

Upon personal reflection, I decided for me, this stems from the way I was raised.  I was raised by older parents who place a high value order.  There's a stratification of roles and everyone needs to behave appropriately to their station.  Children should be seen and not heard.  The younger obey the older.  Put on your best face in front of strangers.  Practical application from my mom:  always put on your make-up if you're going to Walmart because you never know who you will see.    The underlying principle:  no one rocks the boat.  

As an adult I've chosen not to follow many of those rules.  Many are outdated and counter to the life I believe we were designed to live:  one of fullness, freedom and joy.  Those rules are stifling and oppressive and they prohibit authentic relationships from forming.

I taught elementary for 6 years and another teacher taught me my first year teaching that when disciplining bilingual (Spanish-speaking) children, a strong sense of authority commands respect.  I had to work at it because being "nice and warm" was more natural for me, but I learned to command like a kind drill sergeant.  It suited that situation very well.  Teaching college students is a different situation.

I learned quickly in the college classroom that if I'm too authoritative students shut down.  I've learned to soften and be kinder in my approach to student interactions.  I've also learned that if I treat students with respect by explaining why something is important they generally listen better.  But life happens.  It can be tricky because I am passionate about the subjects I teach and when I get the sense that students aren't taking my class seriously it makes me mad.  I have a quick and passionate temper.  I have to keep it in check.  

Two of my three sons are quick to anger like I am.  (The other is like my husband--they slowly simmer instead of exploding).  I tell them that I've learned how to control my anger, but it's a work in progress.  In class, when I feel angry I make myself take a deep breath and quickly analyze the situation.  This removes the power of the emotion (which is often a perception and not based on truth) and helps logic reign.  An example:  I call on a student and realize said student is on her phone, not even on the page in the text we're using for guided practice.  The "devil on my shoulder" wants to berate this student for not paying attention and point out this is why she received a sub-par score on the previous quiz, but I work to quiet that devil.  Instead I take a deep breath and decide to be kind.  I ask if we can come back to her a little later and gently remind her participation points in class rely on her participation in class.

I'm also working to make class activities more engaging so the motivation is higher to participate and not play whatever she was playing on her phone.